Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Men, can't live with them, can't live without them

and i thought women are confusing! whew... the title caught my sight in an instant, "Are women too aggressive?" sometimes in my own relationship i often get that reaction. things that states women are too insecure with their partner, or they don't trust them well enough to be holding on too tight or being so demanding. face it, women are born and made to depend on their man. that's just plain truth. but when i read this my only reaction was: "honestly, i really thought we women are confusing?" (oh yeah i've said that, right?) oh well! this entry is not against every man out there, nor am i targetting anyone in particular. i just feel like wanting to be understood the same way this case study, or survey, or whatever this is means to interpret what guys, men of all ages in a relationship wants from their mate.

When does assertiveness change from a deal-maker to a deal-breaker?

Relationship Point: The Approach

Guys' Take: Women Aren't Aggressive Enough

For a long time, men have upheld the role of the hunters. Women? The rejectors. Doesn't matter whether that initial approach happens at a bar, a bookstore, a coffee shop, or at the drive-thru intercom, guys who have spent their lives dreaming up opening lines and innovative approaches feel like decade-old carpets-they're just plain worn down. The ultimate rejuvenator: A woman who's unafraid to hunt the hunter.

Relationship Point: The Link

Guys' Take: Women Can Be Too Aggressive

When it comes to new relationships, some women can have the same strategy as food marketers: They want to slap labels on everything. Exclusive! Just Dating! Friends Only! 100% Completely Committed! Lots of guys don't mind the status, and they're fine with the natural progression of dating. But guys also hate premature enunciation-a declaration of the label too early in the relationship. Pushing too hard early can quickly turn his excitement about the relationship into an indictment of it.

Relationship Point: The Hook Up

Guys' Take: Women Aren't Aggressive Enough

Men certainly have long lists when it comes to their bedroom wants: a little more of
this, a lot more of that, fat-free whipped cream please. But if there's one thing that men really crave in the bedroom, it's not a certain position, or even a certain act. It's a certain attitude. What many men want when it comes to sex is for women to show a little more assertion, aggression, and initiation. In the aforementioned national survey, only 25 percent of men rate their current partners as an 8 or higher on a 1-10 scale of sexual aggressiveness, while 60 percent of men say that's the level they'd like her to be. Many guys feel that if his mate is confident in the bedroom, he's more likely to stick with her beyond the bedroom walls.

Relationship Point: The Plateau

Guys' Take: Women Can Be Too Aggressive

Every long-term relationship reaches the point when the routines, the dialogue, the sex, the everything can feel more predictable than a Paula Abdul critique. But that doesn't mean the relationship's bad; it just means it's steady. While 92 percent of men say they want to marry, that doesn't always happen. Why? For one reason, men sometimes feel like, if the relationship is a car trip, they've been kicked out of the driver's seat and thrown in the trunk. Most guys want to have a say in the speed and direction the relationship is going, and the minute they sense that women are grabbing the wheel-as opposed to sharing the driving responsibility-then they feel lost. Case in point: in the survey for Men, Love & Sex, the number-one thing that men said bothered them about their partners was how much they nagged. When a woman applies a lot of pressure on a guy-whether it's to fix his bad habits or convince him to have babies-it simply feels suffocating.

Relationship Point: At the Crossroads

Guys' Take: Women Tend to be Just Right

Some relationships work out perfectly: boy meets, dates, and marries girl. Some relationships work perfectly imperfectly: boy meets, dates, and dumps girl (or is dumped by girl). But lots of relationships fall into the limbo category where neither partner knows whether the relationship elevator is going up or down. In those cases, the woman often forces the man's hand: Are you in, or out? For which, we thank you: Sometimes a guy needs that kick to get him moving-either down the aisle, or down the road.

Okay, points taken, well defined. but this brings me to asking: doesn't this explanation all ends to one real dot? the PRIDE dot. I mean come on! let's defend ourselves pretty young ladies out there. As much as they wanna be understood, so must we.

Reaction to the enumerated points: So what happens is that, men wants women who are aggressive enough to approach them, and a whore on bed. I've heard about that quite often. But when it comes to the relationship at hand, men wants to be the one to always have a say to it. Women aren't suppose to be pushy and all that because that might cause them to leave us. That's how i understand it. If you become too submissive, it's not right either. Women are suppose to be "just right". (not too hot, not too cold? just like my coffee.)

I guess the bottom line is: Ladies, be tough enough to give them what they want, and make sure that you don't exceed to the boss' lines because then you'll be a nagger or they'll loose their respect or belief in themselves and you wouldn't want that because they'll be running away for good? is that it?

im probably exaggerating. let's balance this up, shall we?

Man or woman must have their fair share in a relationship. although every woman can be too tight, or too demanding, guys that's just the natural way of showing you that they need you and want you in their life, and whatever it is that's causing them to act that way has got something to do with what you're doing as well. Basic reaction in other words. Somehow you should understand that a lady can be inclined to seek for that security. All they wanna know is if you really treasure them, and love them as much as you say you do. Plain and simple. If at some point you think they're overpowering you, think again. They're only doing that to challenge you to get your self back up to where you really belong. They can't really stand being ahead of you, they just want you to do something for you to be the boss again. (but don't let that blow your head off!)

To the ladies, don't be too harsh, and don't jump into conclusions. you only have to say it once, but with complete and spoon fed information that they will instantly understand. express it naturally and don't give them puzzles. i know, a woman's basis on how much a guy loves them is the idea that they can read your actions or your mind without asking. sadly, they're not born psychics. it would be best if you tell them exactly what you think and want. but don't nag. give it sometime before you ask again, and if its possible, appreciate the little changes or efforts that they're trying to do for you. yes, im pretty sure there are efforts, so don't be too blind to see them. don't expect them to give you what you want in an instant. it takes time to sink in.

Either gender can be like a baby sometimes. You need to nurture and pamper each other at some point, and in other times you have to be strict and tough. It's a part for a relationship to grow. That's just the way it is. It doesn't sound too simple, but then again, nothing is as easy as a piece of cake. But if both of you are willing, then you'll be able to achieve something and hope everything will work out the way you both want it to be.

Patience is a virtue. : )

oh... plus, plus: Ladies' if you wanna know more about what makes a man decide which one stays and which doesn't, i think you'll love to read this: What Makes Men Fall In Love? (for the serious relationship seekers). Honestly when i read it? I couldn't agree less... it was how'd you put it? ah... BullsEye! ; )

7 comments:

rus said...

hehe.. mejo mahaba nga talaga.. parang feeling di naman lahat ng nakusulat dun tama eh.. parang panama lang lahat sa mga babae.. tsk.. hindi pwede ang ganyan..haha.. we have our own differences and styles, parang sobra pa nga ang mga boys eh.. hehe.. mag-iisip ako ng magigin reaction ko dito.. haha.. dpat may maisip talaga ko..hehe

dhea said...

men wants women who are aggressive enough to approach them, and a whore on bed.

-- tama to. hehe. haba nman ng entry wala akong masabi.

chino said...

that is why men are from mars and women are from venus.


women must be reserved at points and wild at others... the trick is finding the right times. :P

ninong said...

hmmm... tama si rus, di naman siguro applicable sa lahat.... hahaha... :D oo nga no, parang complementary ng post ko... :D

mats said...

i have that!!!

Tea said...

My initial reaction:

SMILE.

When it all sunk in:

WOW.

Well, you've said it all. And I couldn't help but agree.

Though, of course, nothing is easy as it may seem. As they say, "Easier said than done."

Peppermint Streak said...

hehehe. i fully agree. i'm actually guilty of some. hehe. nice post.

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