Saturday, July 25, 2020

Mirrorball Feels


In a haze, I felt stripped naked with this song. It's a bit mysterious for me to be able to relate to anything that feels as if someone had seen me or my story and wrote about it. It's like exposing your soul.  Ah.. Aren't these the wonders of artworks and pieces? To be able to reflect something that you thought is well hidden and uniquely you.


"I want you to know

I'm a mirrorball

I'll show you every version of yourself tonight"

 

It had been a struggle to view yourself as someone reflecting everyone thru your personality. I've always considered it both as a gift and a curse. The idea of not being seen for who you are, because you are seen differently every time. Often they see themselves, and not you. There's a certain turning point of overcoming the envy whenever you realize the mirrored version of themselves actually fixes them, and you are left hanging or stuck at a void, confused whether you've lost yourself in the process.


"And when I break, it's in a million pieces"


 Let's not discount the fact of getting sidelined sometimes just because they end up projecting their own insecurities and fears on you unconsciously. The push and pull of people depending on who they are at the moment, and whether they can take the heat to which you are taught to adjust. To change to fit their needs. And you sort of, just get used to it. It felt like a means to survive for awhile.


"I want you to know

I'm a mirrorball

I can change everything about me to fit in"

 

Most of the time, you go through a never ending cycle of finding yourself over and over again every time a situation ends.  You hold on to the consolation of knowing there will always be a lesson to learn in all these.

 

I believe I've always known this for so long… but it was just recently that I've actually tried to see the bigger picture of it all. For some reason, it felt like I faced another mirror and saw that instead of just reflecting, I shined. Who would've thought that seeing yourself, and being able to bring out bits of finally seeing a chance to shed some authenticity through those mirrors would change your view.


"You are not like the regulars

The masquerade revelers

Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten"

 

I saw myself. I saw my growth. I saw who I was before, and who I can become. Who I've wanted to be all this time. I am a mirror, but, I now know how to maneuver without getting lost through it all. I embraced the fact that when everyone is gone, I am dancing on my own shining more than ever knowing I've served my purpose.

 

This time around, instead of shying away, I've become more eager to help mirror anyone who might need it. Who comes forward and accepts it for what it is, the same way I did. And finally, to not expect everyone to understand. To not force them to get it. Some people will runaway, and it is not your job to chase them. Allow only those that will help mold you to be a better version of yourself, making sure that you are doing the same for them.

 

This way, we will all shine. If we keep trying… we just might be able to do so.

 

And maybe, just maybe… you'd find the right person, who'd shed that light on you with no effort, that will make you shine all the way through. <3


"Hush, when no one is around, my dear

You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes

Spinning in my highest heels, love

Shining just for you"

 


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