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Gotta Go My Own Way - Nikki Gil (Philippines)
(Male vocals by Arnie Mendaros)
I gotta say what's on my mind
Something about us doesn't seem right these days
Life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged
It's so hard to say but I've gotta do what's best for me
You'll be okay
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way
Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up and I watch them fall every time
Another color turns to gray
And it's just too hard to watch it all slowly fade away
I'm leaving today 'cause I've gotta do what's best for me
You'll be okay
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way
(What about us? What about everything we've been through?)
What about trust?
(You know I never wanted to hurt you)
What about me?
(What am I supposed to do?)
I gotta leave but I'll miss you
Oh I've got to move on and be who I am
(What about us?)
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
(Hope you understand)
(Try to understand)
We might find our place in this world someday
but at least for now
I gotta go my own way
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
(Try to understand)
We might find our place in this world someday
(World someday)
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way (ooh)
I gotta go my own way
I gotta go my own way
We condemn in the strongest possible terms all the organizations of the University of the Philippines who promote the culture of violence, by perpetrating brutal acts, by condoning these acts, or by obstructing justice by aiding in the flight or concealment of their erring members. To the long list of names that include Alex Icasiano, Dennis Venturina, and so many others traumatized or dead in the name of Cris Mendez; we cannot in good conscience turn a blind eye to the injuries and deaths that involve or are directly perpetrated by organizations of the University.
Just to lessen the pending entries and tasks that I’m supposed to do, I will have to get this off my excitement.
Yes, excitement. Isn’t it obvious? The title says it all. What I just experienced during my stay in
Let’s start!
Immediately upon reaching
Note: I DON’T LIKE HOSPITALS. NEVER. I JUST CAN’T STAND IT, especially public hospitals. First off, only one visitor/companion is allowed per patient. There was not a chair beside my father’s bed, so if you’re assigned to stay and watch him, you’re to make do with it by either standing the whole night, or sitting on the tiled floor.
Before my uncle left, he asked me if I know how to take care of a patient and I quickly responded, “I never had any interest for a nursing course, so no… I know nothing about it except if it was a baby I’m supposed to take care of.” Well, in this case, it’s a baby mutated to 50 or 60 years old. Don’t get me wrong. I love my father. It’s just that, if you were in my shoes and you’ve only had little time living with your father (more like only during your toddler years), you’ll also feel awkward thinking about having to change his diapers or his clothes, feed him and all that. I still did it anyway, but I of course had to ask my brother to do the changing diapers stuff.
For three nights (because I’m an owl by nature) till lunch time, we engaged ourselves on an instant care giving practicum. The hospital aura almost drove me nuts but, thank God, the doctor during his rounds two days before we’re about to leave for Bicol again, told me my father will be released that day. With that news, I instantly decided to ask a friend to tour me around manila before I go totally insane.
My first day tour were around the parks within Makati, then a walk through Glorietta, Greenbelt, SM, Landmark, and a stop at a Starbucks spot near Makati Shangri-La (hope I got that right…) where I went online and left my number on twits and comments so the bloggers could text me where to meet them the next day for the Blogger’s Kapihan activity. From there, my ever so great tour guide (thanks Lester!) brought me to Megamall’s
Back home, I spent another night of care giving and woke up late the next day. Since I haven’t had any text messages regarding the activity just yet, except that one from Sarah where she said she couldn’t assist me or I think it was a point where we were unable to fix our time and appointments, my tour guide brought me to the trade center and checked out what’s there instead. Not much interested with food trades (I think), we headed off to the popular Mall of Asia.
There starts my few firsts… embarrassing firsts, to exact.
In search for a wifi connection, we ended up drooling over a bucket of beer instead. Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen, when I’m in need of unwinding, I really mean it. However, we didn’t realize we only had very limited time. After a while bloggers were already messaging me directions to the after event place. So, our drinks were bound to go to waste… or so you I thought. Anyways, my first embarrassing moment happened when I was serving ice in my glass and I accidentally tripped the bottle of San Miguel Light. It smashed and broke to pieces on the floor. Lucky it didn’t jump off the slits from the terrace or I’m pretty sure it would hit someone from downstairs. *LOL*… I kept my cool. The charge for the broken bottle was expensive, believe me.
Finally, we decided to move it-move it and thought the MRT would be the fastest way to get to
What to do? What to do? We took the cab. Yes, from *where was that?* to TriNoma. It was quite expensive, yet again, but worth it.
There I met the faces behind the blogs that I usually visit, follow on twit, and chat through conferences. And hell, it was just too good to be true. Too great, that I’ll be writing about it on the next post. LOL!
sorry to keep you hanging for now... will update soon!
Isn't this great? There I was attending a fraternity presentation while the rest of the blogging community speaks about their opinions regarding someone dying because of mishandled initiation. I admit I'm a part of a prestigious Fraternity and Sorority as well, but this post isn't about speaking in behalf of the different Fraternities out there, nor my own, and this entry isn't about condemning it either.
This alone is my own observation; I mean nothing more but to give every frat men out there and aspirant a little reminder with their actions.
Frequently Asked Questions: (FAQ)
Frequent Replies: (FR)
FAQ: Why join a fraternity and sorority?
FR: For camaraderie, brotherhood, friendship and service.
One of the many reasons that push an individual to join a certain organization is the thought of finding common threads of peers that would be loyal. The mere idea of becoming a brother gives you that strong bond, securing you of a family you can run to, a place where you are welcomed, a time to shine through service. A sense that the offer that you give for the organization is appreciated, therefore you become proud. In short, most of the aspirants that take part of these initiations are those that seek true friendship. A group to where he/she can say, “I belong.” Yes, it may sound a little silly, but the world is filled with lonely hearts, where appreciation and belongingness alone could relieve.
Testing the waters too isn’t recommended here. Once you’ve placed a foot in the first parts of the orientation, you’ll in the end realize that you’ve gone way too deep to back out now. This leaves you no other choice, but to proceed and show them that you do have enough guts to be one of them.
Believe me; more than just the physical pain that you get out of the traditional means of the initiation, what truly stings is the degrading feeling of your morale being pounded like rocks to sand while you undertake the different humiliation you’re said to face. The challenge of proving your guts, your confidence, and your will is what fuels you in wanting to finish.
It may sound morbid, silly, stupid, and everything else, the sense of using hazing as a tool of confirmation whether an aspirant is willed enough to continue is a tradition that had become really hard to evade. There had been a number of reconstructing policies, and an offer to follow an STP (standard training program or procedure) had been made, however, hazing still remains one of the abused means of initiation.
Although a chapter had agreed to these rules, you’ll never know what a member does to the aspirants. “Control” is what lacks in these frat men that often results to a tragic case.
o0o
My take on this issue:We are forgetting the real meaning of our principles. What are leadership, friendship and service? How do you harness that with pain? Let us think it over. Instead of focusing on battering an aspirant, why not indoctrinate them and let them realize the scene they are about to partake. Remember that being in the organization gives you a number of responsibilities, so ask them, are they ready for it? Trainings, seminars, service… these are the things that we should sharpen.
Again,
Trainings and seminars are for Leadership.
Fellowship and bonding through Friendship.
Reach out in Service.
If you are planning to join a fraternity or an organization, ponder on this Q&A, and wonder if you really are ready to say the pledge’s prayer.
FAQ: Why?
FR: There’s not to reason why, there’s not to make reply, there’s but to do or die. So help me God.
“But as long as you are a part of the institution, do not condemn it,
for if you do, the first high wind that comes along will blow you away.
And probably, you'll never know why.”
- Loyalty Pledge
Walking home the other day with an earphone stuck on one ear listening to one of my old fave songs, emoting at every word, taking a ride on my own emotional rollercoaster I almost saw what could have been the nicest tragedy I could ever imagine happening on me.
So yeah, ever since the bloom of the Kami nAPO Muna album, I’ve been asking where this song was and who revived it for the tribute. Yes, ladies and gentlemen through the influence of my own mother I’m a die hard fan of Apo Hiking’s songs even when I was just a little girl, while everyone else were dancing through the tune of 100% pure love plus more of the Universal Motion Dancer’s Butterfly and I saw the sign, and some other danceable songs which I think I better keep to myself now before you start throwing tomatoes at me saying “booohoooo….”
The melody of the song really struck me at a young age, just the melody coz I never really knew or remember the lyrics, not until I heard it again being played on the radio just recently. The melody was so strong (the same feeling I get after watching a powerful play) that after learning how to play ‘
And by savor I meant listening to it every time I wish to emote, including that other day (points at first paragraph above)…
Here’s what happened:(It would be better if you LISTEN TO THE SONG while reading what’s happening with me then)
TUYO NA’NG DAMDAMIN
MINSAN KAHIT NA PILITIN MONG UMINIT ANG DAMDAMIN
DI SIYA SUSUNOD, AT DI MAGLALAMBING
(wonders about my own love life)
MINSAN DI MO NA MAPIGIL MAPANSIN
NA TALAGANG WALA NANG NAIIWAN NA PAGMAMAHAL
(sighs)
REFRAIN:
AT KAHIT NA ANONG GAWIN
DI MO NA MAPILIT AT MADAYA
AMININ SA SARILI MO
NA WALA KA NG MABUBUGA
(more sighs)
PARANG ‘SANG KANDILA NA NAGDADALA
NG ILAW AT LIWANAG
NAUUBOS RIN SA MAGDAMAG
(feeling heartbroken now)
(INSTRUMENTAL)
(by this time I crossed the street… still listening I over heard screeching tires just behind me and believe me… almost simultaneously coming to the end of the instrumental I saw myself in slow motion turning to see the source of the sound only to realize a car was actually inches away from hitting me and then...)
(REFRAIN)
DI NA MADAIG O MABALIK ANG DATING MATAMIS NA KAHAPON
PILITIN MA’Y TUYO NA’NG DAMDAMIN
Words and music by Jim Paredes (APO Hiking Society)
It would’ve been nice if the next words were *BANG* the car hit me and as you listen to the refrain of the song I’d be lying with blood all over at the side of the road, but then again I wouldn’t be able to tell you all about it unless I blog as a ghost (wait, does that mean I’ll be ghostwriting for myself?).
Anyway, I don’t know why the car was so in a hurry, overtaking from behind me it was almost near my side of the lane and it just passed in a rush. I breathed and really said, wow… that could’ve been a nice death.
But no... I’m still alive in this cruel world. Such a shame… NOT!
More research and I finally found out that the song “Tuyo ng Damdamin” was performed by Silent Sanctuary (which is really new to me since I’ve never heard of this band, but I’m quite interested because of the fact that they have cello and violin in their instruments, whatever) and is included in the new album Kami nAPO Muna Ulit, vol. 2 of the APO Hiking tribute.
There, done! Ciao!
Some of the participants and non-participants question the aim of this contest; obviously, I don’t think its self-promotion, so scratch that. If you’re going to rant about the poll think twice (I was actually doing this before I read that there had actually been rants and now I realized that it’s still ongoing with it), the poll is just a part of it, so I do hope you have read the part where it states that the other percent comes from our judges. A distinguished panel is going through the entries along the week of the poll itself, more likely, as you read this entry.
Unlike its predecessor, the Kalayaan 2007, this time we made sure that the competition wouldn’t be focused on popularity alone. That’s where the decision of having it on 50-50 basis came in. However, there had been claims (just when it’s too late) that 50% for poll is just a bit too much. Geez! As far as I know, they should’ve read about it even before they submitted their entries in the first place. Also, let us not forget that we did ask for your opinion while we were still deciding about this contest and the mechanics were presented for review before it was officially posted on the contest page. Remember the conference?
Another thing, mind if I remind you of one more thought brought to this poll issue. I bet that you’d agree that being able to register is better than what used to be a click all you want scheme. In short, what you’re getting now is what we thought was the better option… better than the previous one, that is.
Still, to compensate the freedom of speech, we made a couple of suggestions to be responded by the participants to make them decide what to do with the percentage on whether or not the poll be eliminated and place the results instead as a “texter’s choice award” (or in this case, net fave? Pulse award?) sort of idea. The answer now lies in their hand.
Who are the judges? Please be reasonable enough. How could you assume that they could actually be a part of the participants? That would be a little too silly for my taste.
Our Judges' identities are withheld for their own security, and might I say for the participants as well. Besides, why worry about it if we will be giving you the names at the end of the competition anyway? Be advised not to focus on the idea that we have experienced bloggers in the panel because those bloggers aren’t necessarily blogging only people. Take note that we also have Filipino and English professors from a highly reputable university in it. Try not to underestimate our judges.
Next:
Just what exactly is wrong with the theme? I guess it all lies on how one perceives it. The truth is: there is nothing wrong with it. How about the contest? Again, if the idea confuses you, it’s not bad at all to ask those who know about it right? Well, I’d still want to answer the raised question regarding the theme...
“Maraming Wika, Matatag na Bansa”
During the early days of entry submissions, a lot have asked what the theme meant. Some even found it absurd, and reacted through their entries too. Yes, that’s creative good for y’all. Anyway, what I do in response is let them read Dr. Nolasco’s keynote, which I bet, would answer all their wonders about the idea behind the theme and the competition itself.
If you still didn’t get the point, this is my piece. The theme agrees on our country being multilingual. So scrutinizing the use of “the Filipino language” to “the” Filipino language (obviously there’s a big difference about it) for my own point of view is just plain wrong. Why? Because the idea doesn’t actually imply on the known Filipino language alone, it’s all of the languages brought into one, thus the use of “the Filipino language”, as a whole. No ‘trying to downplay any other language because yes, I’d agree, that would be -let’s say- irrelevant to the theme? I think that’s actually one of the reasons why the mechanics stated that the entry could be written in any dialect or language, and translation to Tagalog or English is optional, right?
Another side of the questions also includes ideas on how can this many language build a better nation? Well, that’s just it actually. That’s the challenge that this competition wants from its participants. To detail or make your own way of expressing how this idea could help our nation. From Dr. Nolasco’s speech, he wanted to let the whole nation know that teaching your kababayan, wherever you are, using the language that can easily be understood by whoever you are trying to teach is the key to learning, especially in schools. Now it’s up to you to use the same technique, so to speak, here in the blogging world.
All in all, I believe that the competition mechanics cannot satisfy everyone, yet it is done with the exact knowledge of what’s supposedly the best deals so far. If you have read the mechanics before and still participated, it could be out of two things: Either you want to take part on spreading your being proudly pinoy, or you’re just after the prize. Whichever your reason is that’s up to you. But don’t conclude that everyone in it is after the prize alone, because if you didn’t notice, I made my own entry when I am not actually allowed to join. Mine is unofficial. That puts me on the side of the first reason. If I could come up with an entry that’s based on the will to promote the native tongue in our land, I bet there are more like me that joined the competition without expecting anything in return, which I hope everyone would focus on. The prize should act only as consolation to our participation.
Once and for all, I hope we all stop complaining about the mechanics because from what I have experienced in all other competitions, having read the mechanics and joined that means you agree with it, right? So, let's focus on the theme now, shall we? Instead of promoting unity here, what we are doing is another issue that would be an addition in this month’s blogging scandals. Come on people: Do you not trust your co-bloggers that much to indicate the idea of creating his/her own different accounts to vote? Do you doubt the organizers would favor one entry from another? Yes, you are entitled to speak of giving the benefit of the doubt, but here’s the thing: I could honestly stand that I believe the organizers are trying to give you the best options here.
The main thought that we are giving you the privilege to communicate with us regarding different matters can easily give you the idea that we are trying the best we can to provide you a meaningful event. Let’s help each other through this instead of creating too much commotion. Anyway, you will always be there to comment, and we will be listening. You are already watching us, so why be that worried?
Haven’t we had enough of these issues already? Let’s try and take part on this activity on a lighter note. Now, if you’re only doing this for traffic, then I say, find another activity to mess with. Okay?
NOTE: this is a personal post based from my own observation regarding the different points raised in connection to the ongoing Wika2007 writing project.
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Wika2007 Blog Writing Contest
Theme: “Maraming Wika, Matatag na Bansa”
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