Saturday, September 1, 2007

The Old Times

There had been days that I can't explain why my heart felt so heavy. Days where I almost cried without reasons. I thought it's all because of all the pressures I get both from work and at home. Lately I find myself searching for this guy. Inside the passenger jeep I'd look out as it passes what used to be your school... and then I'd heave a sigh.

Not so long after that I found myself in a familiar street. I knew by heart where that street leads. And as I turn around I saw a familiar face from the tricycle, riding just behind the driver I saw you, I was about to smile and wave at you but I held back. Only to realize that it could never be you. Because I don't think I'll ever see you again. At least not yet.

:galit:You were an older brother I never had, even if we both know you could be really childish at times. You were such a noisy bastard you know that? I could still remember how you'd remind me that I should not let anybody push me around. That I must tell you if anyone does and you'll do the rest for me. I missed that. And I also miss your tampo-tampo issues. Where you'd get drank and tell me all your heartaches. And then out of nowhere you'll be screaming your lungs out until you'll be fine again. All that's left after that are laughters and a realization that our actions were somewhat silly and stupid. But it was fun anyway.

The road trips. The prodigal jeep. Us, prodigal kids. All these I truly miss. And as I look back on that person that I almost waved at, tears filled my eyes. I know I shouldn't be sad. I'm not really. I still get to see you in my dreams anyway. I know you're doing fine too. Say hello to Rambo for us.

By the way, advance happy birthday Ivan. It's been a year when you slept and never woke up. I still find it unfair that you never said goodbye. But hey, it's a good thing that at least now I'm sure that you're safe. Happy in the company of our Almighty.

Padi, we miss you so bad.

Don't forget to watch over us okay?

Sensya ka na di ako nakapunta sa anniversary mo. At sya nga pala, pwede tigilan mo yang katatawa mo dyan ha? Masyado mo ata kami pinagtatawanan. Tandaan mo Van, walang beer dyan. hahaha!


IVAN KARL CABRERA
Sept. 10, 1986 - Aug. 31, 2006


Sige padi! Miss you po. Hanggang sa muli. Magkikita din tyo. :puppyeyes:







5 comments:

sherma said...

that was really sad. ang bata naman nyang nawala... =(

i know, he's always guiding you kahit wala na sya physically...

Talamasca said...

What a heartwarming eulogy. *pulls hanky*

Whaddya mean by this: when he slept and never woke up? He died because of some nightmare, bangungot? Yeeeee.

My condolences go out to you and to the bereaved family.

andianka said...

@sherma: yup... ang bata pa talaga. mag-20 na sana sya pero di nya na inabot birthday nya.

@tala: yup... he died rico yan style. so nobody really saw it coming. well, at least sabi nga okay na yun, he died in his sleep. he didn't suffer or anything.

Jigs said...

Very nice Andianka... Very touching...

It's really unfortunate that he died like that...

umay said...

looking at his picture i got teary eyed.. grabe one year na pero parang kelan lng.. (hirap tanggapin) ayan umiiyak nako.. huwaaaaaa kala ko di nako maluluha pa.. not a tear dropped in my eyes during his anniv celeb late reaction nanaman ako. godbless you tol! luv you much and miss you as in! tama ba namang umiyak ako dito sa office.. *sniffs* tama brod bantayan mo kami ni anka at sobra kaming pasaway.. hahha pagalitan mo kami..

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